Likes & Dislikes.

Goodness, the 1st of June already, where does the time go?

I realise this is a very blue-rinse thing to say but seriously, where has the time gone? I am off work for another day with my back. (Days off are generally spent with my spine in it's usual place - what I mean to say it is hurting enough to hamper working and that is why I find myself with fingers running along these off white apple keys once more.)

We slept on the floor last night, all very primitive and Ray Mears I'm sure. If only the reason was eccentricity, adventure or bush-craft as opposed to chronic ailment (my life will probably never be quite as exciting as fashioning a harpoon out of a twig with my teeth but I can dream.)

Anyway, I digress, the title of this particular blog entry is 'Likes & Dislikes' and recently I have found little to hate which is highly unusual for a steadily cantankerous old git like me. We'll put the back pain down as an instant dislike for starters.

Likes:

1. Jamie Does... (Channel 4 Series.)

This was a really nice series and I enjoyed watching it no-end; I even bought the book but that probably isn't saying much knowing my reputation as a bit of a bibliophilic hoarder.

2. Soft Brew (Non-Alcoholic Fruit Beer - Marks & Spencer.)

I'm not allowed to drink alcohol at the moment so I have been searching for alternatives so I don't feel all left out and boring (which is probably still the case anyway.) Marks & Sparks Soft Brew's are really nice and come in different flavours apparently although Oxford only ever seem to have apple, boo.

3. Fairly Nuts Ice Cream (Ben & Jerry's.)

Ben & Jerry's never get it wrong and this flavour is no exception. It's reasonably hard to find around these parts so this particular flavour has built up mysticism so when we are lucky enough to find it at Tesco we do indeed go Fairly Nuts.

4. Marmite X.O (Extra Old Matured Marmite.)

Hurray! Another variation of Marmite. This one is for hard-core fans with a stronger more intense taste. I still slap it on with gay abandon but then again I'm a Marmite freak (make your own jokes.) By the way Debenhams I am still waiting for my Marmite jar-shaped mug to be delivered, chop-chop please.


5. Where's Wally? (iPhone App.)

Where's Wally? I'm not sure but thanks to him a lot of us now need glasses. Now that I am an adult glasses wearer I can strain my eyes even more by staring at my iPhone screen tapping away merrily trying to find that pesky Wally and his cheeky be-hatted dog.

........

Dislikes:


1. If you can't pull your trousers up then for god's sake please make sure you've at the very least got clean boxer shorts on, especially if they are white. I don't want to see how well you wipe your posterior or that you bought your Calvin Klein's in a charity bin, complete with authentic vintage holes and rips.


2. The words 'Street' alongside 'Dance' and 'Troop' make me shudder at their mere mention. street dance can't be as hard as we first imagined; after all as it seems that 70% of the British public are more than capable of it and seem to think the Queen would like to watch.

Britain's Got Talent? Britain's Got Street-Dance more like and too bloody much of it!

3. I'm working in a shop at the moment and nothing annoys me more than people thrusting or holding bank notes in your face. This often happens as you are trying to bag and ring-through their order on the till, they will wave the note in your face, often following you around the counter until you take it from them. If this sounds like you, I hate you.

3a. In a similar vein people who ask you how much an order is even before you are anywhere near the till, I hate you also. I do not have the maths brain of Johnny Ball and Carol Vorderman's love child.

3b. Oh and another thing, a simple please or thank-you really wouldn't hurt would it? Do you think I want to be here? Do you think I work in a job below me to be spoken too like rubbish? People who come up to me and say things like 'Get me a coke' and then thrust a £50 note in my face I really do wish you the very worst. There is something very wrong with society if a simple 'please' is putting yourself out.